Me Vs. My World

Hello Scott:

 

I haven’t talked to you for a while; I hope everything has
been well.

 

I remember quite distinctly you said you like sci-fi but not
drama, because drama resembles reality too much but sci-fi on the other hand ...

我好难过。你不知道。

你就坐在我身后。但是我却好伤心，好难过。

世界上最远的距离，是我在你身边，你却不知道我喜欢你吗？

可是我喜欢你吗？

你又喜欢我吗？

不要这样折磨我好吗？

莫名其妙的忧郁，世界一片阴霾。

如果是在现实世界，会下雨吧。该下雨了...

十年。黑沙发，黑礼服，黑猫。我的黑头发，你的黑镜框。我记得画淡妆，去鸡尾酒会，和你喜欢的混合酒。我在房间的角落，你在我世界的中央。

你好，好久不见。我僵硬的声带，手指和脊椎。耀眼的酒杯座，白红白的液体，旁边陌生男子的西装。你好，好久不见。这声音如...

So glad I have a friend to talk about these stuff. Thanks!

I figured that I’ll just email you instead of talking to you on the phone for an hour. Emailing fits both of our schedules better, and our ideas could be better and more clearly ex...

I shamelessly attached my final paper to my last year's phi class. Now when I look back at it, I realize it's unmature and somehow still a little subjective. But it will give you some idea why I don't believe faith alone can lead to salvation. My ...

I had to picture the days I will be on my knees, praying for the granting of OPT. My self-confidence, self-assurance, dignity will be so trivial and small that I won't be able to see with naked eyes.

When you are confronting a pre-existing system...

Mind, or consciousness, can be a single physical unit part of our
body but not yet detectable, considering the fact that as of now we human
beings are only familiar with four dimensional space plus timeline; while the
superstring theory suggests ...

Can Descartes be more brilliant?

How he demonstrates the existence of "I", is the most powerful, mind-blowing thing ever happened in human history. He has one of the most brilliant minds.

"Let anyone who can do deceive me; so long as I think tha...

New idea.

 

I always believed that human is no difference from any other animal. If we want to know anything, we should just look back into the nature. Look at how any other animal society works. In this way should we get the truth, which o...

PC successfully converted my into an objectivist. Awesome. Now my world is black and white, boring and confusing.

 

His point on "tolerance" is indeed right. Philosophical relativism claim that there is no universal truth, everything includ...

This is becoming more and more freaking awesome.

I started doing hands-on experiments. Day 7 I did miniprep and restriction digest. Miniprep went fine, followed the protocol, no mistake; restriction digest had a little problem, when I load...

Conversation with Cheryl is freaking embarrassing. I listened to her for like 5 mins, and couldn't think of any question to ask. I don't care what kind of "large scale" experiment she is working on, only one project? Seriously? Is that why she was so n...

Ligation is real exciting, according to Bob. WTF, I almost fell asleep.

Retroviral infection goes into the second day, the longest protocol of the week. Woot woot.

BTW, I still have no idea what the damn is this HBS buffer thi...

Not very much to talk about. Purely experimenting all day long.

Saw the injection again, on 3-weeks mice; which are much smaller than the mice we injected last week. Also saw retroviral infection day 1 procedure. As well as gel purificatio...

Achieved some goals. I talked to Scott today about the liver cancer cell sequencing. I admit I was trying to impress him; however I do somehow interested in that as well. I felt good when he tell me that I should really try to "be relax around him". I ...

I am taking a day off to clear my mind and fuel myself up. I knew I was going to do this. By this I mean both the gap day and the macbook I just bought three hours ago.

This is awesome. I finally decided I need a big screen, carrying-frien...

Observed detailed procedure for cell culture. Cell number counting. Nanodrop. Transformation. Animal model injection.

Nude mice are awesomely cute, if you are not disgusted by the first sight. All female individuals. They are scared t...

Cold spring harbor, Baby, cold spring harbor!!!!

My work finally paid off..

人年轻的时候就喜欢胡乱想一些不着边际的东西。我高中的时候就一直在想，关于“国”和“家”是多么狗P的概念；大家都是自由意志，为什么要恪守一些所谓的礼教；这些礼教的本质就是控制人的机器。

现在才发现当年自己是多么狗P多么幼稚多么不识好歹。当我疯狂地想吃月饼但是买不到的时候；当我想与母亲拥抱但是无法逾越千里的距离的时候；当我遍体鳞伤但是回不了家的时候，我才发现。

很快又到回家的季节。

长大才发现这世上真的有太多简单却让人失望的事情。

简单的，譬如，我要回家。我要回家吃爷爷做的蘑菇烧鸡；我要在叔叔家三楼的阳台上和堂哥一起戴着墨镜晒太阳；我要跟我妈挽着手去新街口地下商场吃不干不净不健康的小吃。我想再看一眼婆婆浑浊的双目；我想再看一眼我妈穿着深蓝色的大衣手捂着挎包俯下身子吃东西的瞬间；我想再踮着脚小心翼翼地走过肮脏的菜市场。可是这一切都无法实现。

上周我骗Nkiru说我家在密歇根。我怕我...

今天回家上网才知道加拿大冰球赢了美国。听说打的很激烈。听说加拿大人沸腾了。听说同学家对门的老太太流眼泪了。

难怪今天下午在健身房的时候，在我旁边用登山机的哥们对着电视大呼小叫。我当时没有戴眼镜，电视上放的什么都没看见。只觉得这男的真TM神经。

现在才明白。原来加拿大赢了。

原来这是一件大事。

今天cancer的教授给我们讲了一个很冷的笑话。

她说在她原来工作的公司里有个scientific director，这个scitific director曾经在某个很牛很牛的发现和研究ras的实验室里工作。ras总的来说就是个对于癌症很重要的蛋白质，而还有个信号分子叫raf，是被ras激活的。教授说有一次那个scientific director给她看一张照片，是他之前工作的那个实验室的人在玩排球。只见一队人个个身上穿着写着“ras”“...

我经历了人生中最失败的一场实验。

先是自己小组的两个无脑人在我上台拿溶剂的时候乱给我们组的DNA加溶液，导致前功尽弃。变态老头说溶剂不够不能重做实验，从此LAB 16的文件里没有了第二小组的资料。我们被悲惨地分别流放到剩下的小组之中。我加入了看上去都很聪明的第五小组。事实证明我太大意了。。



正如大家所见，整个gel只有两条lane是visible，而这两条lane全是事先得到的标准线DNA！！

...

今天考完有机大家心情都很好，于是终于有人愿意陪我去gym。之前我求爷爷告奶奶似的活生生求了她们整整一个星期，居然没一个人理我。人心不古。

晓雨没有运动服，所以明天中午还要带她去Dick's买。

每次看到巨型Dick's商店标志我都想笑。究竟是因为我太YD了，还是群众都太纯洁了。居然身边从来都没有人嘲讽过这个名字。

我想这家店要是在中国开分店，取个中国名字，大概是要叫“老二体育用品店”或者就是&ldq...

一直都以为bio 205的TA是个正经老头。第一天上课就穿的手术服，好像要让天下人都知道他是医院那边过来的，不是普通TA。

可惜今天漏了马脚。

上课的时候问我们有没有开答题器。

“have you guys been turned on?”

底下对面一阵淫笑。对面实验台上一对J夫Y妇把台子抖得我只能把电泳仪器举在空中。

原来这老头是同道中人。藏得很...

昨天晚上做完AMS作业之后精神涣散，加上十分担心第二天车子会在去换机油的路上抛锚，所以一夜失眠。

我居然开始看《功夫熊猫》。之前看的时候没有注意过这些超有喜感的台词，现在才发现太可惜了。

“Lengend tells of a lendary warrior whose kong fu skills were the stuff of lengend”

".....his enemies ...

小时候一直觉得我爸说话像放P。什么“一屋不扫何以扫天下”。我就是喜欢房间乱糟糟的，有存在感。

后来我去远方上学，住双人房。不再有人给我整理房间。跟我爸越来越少说话。我和室友都很懒，房间也像我想象中的变态科学家应该有的房间那样乱得不堪入目。

最近搬到新家，住单人间。从此房间乱只能怪自己。我反而开始注意房间布局，东西的归置，还有桌面的整洁。

我的生活慢慢变得有条不紊。

原来我爸...

我就知道今天肯定忘记带什么东西了。i knew it.

刚才才食物和水这两件生物生存必须的基本元素都被我落在家里了。

现在我一个人坐在图书馆里，孤独而又饥渴。

还要准备变态的生物实验。

CAO。

今天我有一项伟大的证明。

我在GN家饭桌旁正准备坐下来复习的时候，发现一只蜘蛛正悬在半空中，装死。

我灵机一动，抄起手边的一摞复习材料，朝蜘蛛煽过去。

我记得《加菲猫》漫画里经常有这样的场景，加菲无聊的时候就会用报纸打悬在半空中的蜘蛛，然后蜘蛛就会像钟摆一样摇晃，换来加菲淫荡而满足的笑容。

我一直以为那是在扯淡，直到我放下复习材料后发现那蜘蛛真在做震荡运动。

我当时的表情...

一切为了人品。

继续攒人品。